carousels

On a bus ride into town
I wondered out loud "Why am I going to town?"
And as I looked around at the billboards and the stores
I thought "Why do I look around?"
And I kissed the filthy ground
And in the first dry spot I found
And I didn't have to wonder why I was laying down.

Before long I was too cold
Took a bus back to the station
I found a letter left by a pay phone
With no return contact
And it read like a horn blown by some sad angel
"Funny, it was me... it was me who let you down"
It was the shyest attempt I'd ever seen at conversation

If I didn't have You as my guide I'd still wander lost in Sinai,
Counting the plates of cars from out-of-state,
(how I could jump in their path as they hurry along!)
You surround me, you're pretty but you're all I can see,
like a thick fog - if there was no way into God,
I would never have laid in this grave of a body for so long.

And Bonner fair always came through the first week of September
But it's already the 19th
And there's no sign of it.
Yet I have a hard time
Remembering all the things that I should remember
And a hard time
Forgetting the all things that I am supposed forget.

Oh Christ when You're ready to come back
I think I'm ready for You to come back
But if You want to stay wherever exactly it is You are,
That's okay too - it's really none of my business.
If I didn't have You as my guide I'd still wander lost in Sinai
Or down by the tracks watching trains go by to remind me:
There are places that aren't here.
I had a well but all the water left
So I'll ask Your forgiveness with every breath,
If there was no way into God,
I would never have laid in this grave of a body for so long, dear.

les arts

they all seem to be taking over my life about now. which, might i add, is not necessarily a bad thing at all. in the graphic design world, i've been working on an illustration project for the past couple of weeks, and it's finally all coming together, and i think it's gonna be good. in the fine arts world, i've just finished up another painting! for your viewing pleasure:
i'm having a somewhat difficult time naming this one, so if any of you (i know you're out there...somewhere) readers would like to help out on this one, that would be great. i've got another one i did last month that i'll try to put on here asap.

in the world of music, i've been working on a song for the past week or so. i've finished a rough recording of it, but i can't seem to find a good way to upload it to the internet. garageband is my new favorite toy. lately, i've been listening to a lot of big band music, glenn miller in particular. not to mention, there seems to be an overabundance of it on the work playlist. it's great stuff, and it's interesting to see how far music has progressed from then to now. sometimes, i prefer the older style of doing things.

today in the studio, i was listening to elliott smith's "figure 8." great music, depressing story to his life. i used to get depressed just listening to his music, but now i'm able to hear the beauty and incredible talent he possessed in spite of his personal issues. for those of you who don't know of múm, you should give them a listen. it's interesting music, for sure. they're icelandic, so if you're into the great stuff coming out of that island, these guys are a treat. it ranges from electronica to ambient, and the vocals are somewhere between soothing and creepy. it's beautiful to listen to.

on another note altogether, it's hard for me not knowing what God's plan is for my life. i've been married for 8 1/2 months now, about to graduate in december, and i work at starbucks. the economy is falling down around our ears, and i'm kind of concerned as to what i'm going to do for a living so to support my family. painting doesn't really bring any huge income unless you're famous. which i am not. i don't plan on working at starbucks for the rest of my life, and i don't plan on school for the rest of my life, so what am i gonna do? frankly, it's kind of scary.

i know that God has incredible plans for me, and i trust that he will take care of me and my family, but it's hard when you don't know the plan, you know? i've never considered myself to be a control freak or anything, but i don't know what to do. pray. i suppose that's all i really can do. and i can try to be the best person i can be. i've always said that i want to live my life as simply as possible. i don't need much to be a happy person. give me my wife, a guitar, a bike, and some painting supplies, and i'm good to go. i just want to take care of what i've been blessed with. God gives and he takes away, so i'm trusting his lead in wherever this crazy thing we call life takes me.

and i leave you with a couple photos i recently took: