a day in the life of an ordinary radical

oh my, my...

2009-06-27T20:25:00.002-05:00

i'm not much of a person to be whiny or needy, but this is on my mind right now. i really would like to be away from oklahoma right now. apart from the plus-100 degree heat we've been experiencing, my wife is in maine, and that sounds like the perfect place to be for me. i really miss her a lot. a lot. being married for a year doesn't warrant a month of being apart; shoot, 50 years of marriage doesn't even warrant that. but i understand why we're better off for it in the long run, and i'm definitely learning a thing or two about taking care of myself without her watchful eye and patience (usually too much of the latter).

she really is wonderful, and i can't wait to see her again on the 22nd. after a week in new hampshire, it's off to russia for us! i suppose in the long run, it's not too far off until i'll be headed up to the northeast, and that'll be a nice change of pace for me. i've been in oklahoma for too long, and i need to travel a bit.

with that said, i'll be by myself for the next couple of weeks, so if one of you oklahoma types feels especially nice, feel free to stop on by. i may cook you dinner. or if you're traveling through the area, i've got an extra bed, so i'd be happy to be a hotel for a night or two. it's not like i'm doing anything besides working and going home, so chances are, i'll be up for some adventure.

in other news, i just got mewithoutYou's latest album, "It’s all crazy! It’s all false! It’s all a dream! It’s alright," and i must say, it's quite fabulous. it's certainly a departure from their earlier music, being that it's essentially their take on folk music. not that they weren't experimenting with that in "Brother, Sister," but this album solidifies the folk trend in their music. enlightening lyricism, as always, and an enjoyable listen throughout. check it out, if you feel so inclined.

much love and peace to you all!

goodwill find, anyone?

2009-05-13T10:55:00.005-05:00

what we have here is the molded plywood 40/4 chair. designed in 1963 by david rowland, this is one of the most recognizable, most often imitated chair designs ever. the g.f. office furniture company still owns and produces the design, and it retails online for about $200 apiece. similarly styled furniture from the same design period runs roughly the same. we found a set of four dating from 1976 at goodwill. the price? $75. a good find? i think so.

a little information on rowland:

"David Rowland studied at the Cranbrook Academy of Art, where Charles and Ray Eames, Florence Knoll, Harry Bertoia, as well as Eero Saarinen attended school. Early in his career, Rowland trained with both Lazlo Moholy-Nagy, the great Bauhaus emigre, and Norman Bel Geddes, the innovative American designer who streamlined industrial design and its production process. This unique combination of sophisticated European avant-garde modern design and American technical know-how allowed Rowland to create some of the most unique and comfortable seating produced.

After opening his own office in 1954, David Rowland pursued numerous experiments in minimal seating with the goal of accomodating large numbers of people. These exercises culminated with the much lauded 40/4 Chair, designed in 1963 and was immediately awarded the grand prize at the prestigous Milan Triennale the next year. Designed as a solution for flexible, stackable seating and executed with a graphic sleekness, 40 chairs can be stacked in a four-foot high space.

David Rowland went on to design numerous other chairs that satisfy the rigorous demands of mass production while retaining a high level of design sophistication, but the 40/4 chair has never been surpassed, by Rowland or others."

so it'sa my birthday, folks

2009-05-09T18:27:00.009-05:00

i'm 22 today, and it doesn't feel that much different than yesterday. my wife says i feel older, but i'm not noticing a significant change. really, after 21, birthdays don't have much importance except for the fact that you're one year older.

i like this picture. that dog is having a birthday party...

here's some other famous people's goings on when they were 22...

Bill Murray, a one-time aspiring surgeon, was arrested with nine pounds of marijuana at O'Hare Airport. The incident forced him to drop out of college, and his brother eventually persuaded Bill to give comedy a try in Chicago.

At 22, Johnny Cash went from decoding Russian communications for the Air Force to recording his first country single at Sun Records. In between, he did a lot of living.

Oprah Winfrey dropped out of college to become a newsreader in Nashville, and at 22 moved to Baltimore to work at another station where she landed her own talk show.

Jack White had his own upholstery business at age 22, but while practicing the guitar he asked his wife, Meg, to try the drums-he liked her playing so much they began performing as a two-piece band, the White Stripes.

while i am 22, i will celebrate my first marriage anniversary, graduate college with a BFA in fine art, need to find a real job, and who knows what else. if everything goes according to plan. or lack thereof.

new hat!

2009-03-08T12:50:00.002-05:00

hokay, so i've been wanting a cycling hat for a little bit, but either the hats they have online are too pricey for me, or they don't have the ones i want. so, i made one :-) for your viewing pleasure:i'm going to have to figure out how to attach the brim of the hat a little better next time, but for a first hat, i'd say it turned out pretty good! it's comfortable too.

i simply don't understand.

2009-03-03T01:05:00.007-06:00

why do we so often place so much stock in the temporary things that we're experiencing now? i could turn anything into an example. the bed i sleep in every night; yes, it is very comfortable and warm, but not too long from now, it will be worn out, dirty, and laying in a dumpster somewhere. the bikes that i ride; they are fun and useful now, but they'll eventually rust and become useless. my job and my income; it provides me with the ability to live comfortably, but in today's world, i'm never guaranteed a thing. besides, billions of people survive on far less than what i make in one day. it all just makes me think, do i really need what i think i need, or what the rest of society tells me i need?

job 1:21 --
"naked I came from my mother's womb,
and naked i will depart.
the LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised."

i am never guaranteed anything will last forever except for faith, hope, and love, of which love is the greatest.

so i ask again, why do we wrap ourselves up so much in the petty things (they may not seem petty now, but in the scheme of things, they are.), when there is so much more waiting for us to grab onto? i, for one, have made the decision to live life as simply as possible. that is the essence of what my life goal is. i don't want a multi-hundred-thousand dollar paycheck. i don't want to be at the top of the food chain. in a world where everyone is looking out for number one, i want to be the failure. if what jesus said is true, when he told us that the first will be last and the last will be first, i want that.

so go ahead. call me a screwed up failure. we all are in the long run, and i'm ok with not hiding the fact that i am. it's easier for everyone that way. i know who loves me. i want everyone else to know that love too. i think that's the purpose in my life.

carousels

2009-02-28T14:21:00.003-06:00

On a bus ride into town
I wondered out loud "Why am I going to town?"
And as I looked around at the billboards and the stores
I thought "Why do I look around?"
And I kissed the filthy ground
And in the first dry spot I found
And I didn't have to wonder why I was laying down.

Before long I was too cold
Took a bus back to the station
I found a letter left by a pay phone
With no return contact
And it read like a horn blown by some sad angel
"Funny, it was me... it was me who let you down"
It was the shyest attempt I'd ever seen at conversation

If I didn't have You as my guide I'd still wander lost in Sinai,
Counting the plates of cars from out-of-state,
(how I could jump in their path as they hurry along!)
You surround me, you're pretty but you're all I can see,
like a thick fog - if there was no way into God,
I would never have laid in this grave of a body for so long.

And Bonner fair always came through the first week of September
But it's already the 19th
And there's no sign of it.
Yet I have a hard time
Remembering all the things that I should remember
And a hard time
Forgetting the all things that I am supposed forget.

Oh Christ when You're ready to come back
I think I'm ready for You to come back
But if You want to stay wherever exactly it is You are,
That's okay too - it's really none of my business.
If I didn't have You as my guide I'd still wander lost in Sinai
Or down by the tracks watching trains go by to remind me:
There are places that aren't here.
I had a well but all the water left
So I'll ask Your forgiveness with every breath,
If there was no way into God,
I would never have laid in this grave of a body for so long, dear.

les arts

2009-02-19T19:35:00.014-06:00

they all seem to be taking over my life about now. which, might i add, is not necessarily a bad thing at all. in the graphic design world, i've been working on an illustration project for the past couple of weeks, and it's finally all coming together, and i think it's gonna be good. in the fine arts world, i've just finished up another painting! for your viewing pleasure:
i'm having a somewhat difficult time naming this one, so if any of you (i know you're out there...somewhere) readers would like to help out on this one, that would be great. i've got another one i did last month that i'll try to put on here asap.

in the world of music, i've been working on a song for the past week or so. i've finished a rough recording of it, but i can't seem to find a good way to upload it to the internet. garageband is my new favorite toy. lately, i've been listening to a lot of big band music, glenn miller in particular. not to mention, there seems to be an overabundance of it on the work playlist. it's great stuff, and it's interesting to see how far music has progressed from then to now. sometimes, i prefer the older style of doing things.

today in the studio, i was listening to elliott smith's "figure 8." great music, depressing story to his life. i used to get depressed just listening to his music, but now i'm able to hear the beauty and incredible talent he possessed in spite of his personal issues. for those of you who don't know of múm, you should give them a listen. it's interesting music, for sure. they're icelandic, so if you're into the great stuff coming out of that island, these guys are a treat. it ranges from electronica to ambient, and the vocals are somewhere between soothing and creepy. it's beautiful to listen to.

on another note altogether, it's hard for me not knowing what God's plan is for my life. i've been married for 8 1/2 months now, about to graduate in december, and i work at starbucks. the economy is falling down around our ears, and i'm kind of concerned as to what i'm going to do for a living so to support my family. painting doesn't really bring any huge income unless you're famous. which i am not. i don't plan on working at starbucks for the rest of my life, and i don't plan on school for the rest of my life, so what am i gonna do? frankly, it's kind of scary.

i know that God has incredible plans for me, and i trust that he will take care of me and my family, but it's hard when you don't know the plan, you know? i've never considered myself to be a control freak or anything, but i don't know what to do. pray. i suppose that's all i really can do. and i can try to be the best person i can be. i've always said that i want to live my life as simply as possible. i don't need much to be a happy person. give me my wife, a guitar, a bike, and some painting supplies, and i'm good to go. i just want to take care of what i've been blessed with. God gives and he takes away, so i'm trusting his lead in wherever this crazy thing we call life takes me.

and i leave you with a couple photos i recently took:

Með suð í eyrum við spilum endalaust

2009-01-10T11:39:00.003-06:00

so, i got some itunes gift cards for christmas, and this is one of the albums i bought with them. where to begin... i was sort of worried before buying it, because the review was saying how "it's a more conventional sigur ros, blah blah blah..." and i'm like, "oh, i really liked their older stuff a lot." anyhow, i knew that i wouldn't be able to pass it up, because sigur ros is still sigur ros, no matter how "conventional" they may be. let me just say that all of my fears were quickly disbanded.

yes, a lot of the songs are much shorter than say, Ágætis Byrjun, but i hardly noticed that in listening. the full run time is almost an hour, so that makes for a really good listen. while the instrumentation may be a bit more conventional in some aspects, it is no less epic than their previous work. in fact, i think it's a nice continuation to Takk..., and picks up where songs like Hoppípolla leave off. it's really happy sounding sigur ros, and some songs just make me feel like dancing. Ára bátur is one of the most beautiful songs i've ever heard, and at nine minutes, it's an epic piano ballad that explodes into symphonic bliss. all in all, i couldn't be more pleased with this album, and i genuinely recommend it to anyone and everyone.

so this is the new year...

2009-01-01T18:41:00.006-06:00

(i wonder how many people titled their blog that today...) 2009, here we come, and one of my resolutions this year is to keep up with this thing better. a lot has happened within the last couple of weeks. in all honesty, i should be in russia right now, but due to some undesirable circumstances, i am still here in oklahoma. let's backtrack to christmas morning, shall we?

25 december 2008; keller, tx; sometime in the morning. i've just finished opening my second present of the morning, and i'm in a rather jolly mood. it's christmas, after all.
i'm watching everyone else open up theirs when i figure, "why don't i take the packaging off this thing?" one of my cousins-in-law was sitting next to me, and i extend my hand, asking for his knife. he obliges, and i tackle the task of cutting through the cable-ties that hold everything together. i make it through the first one (the sharp plastic it left scuffed up my right index finger, and you would have thought i'd pick out a better instrument for opening the second one). as i begin to cut through the second one, i position the knife so it won't slip out. oh, trust me, it didn't slip out. it just shot out at about a million mph once it broke through the plastic, and before i knew what happened, i see a large gash open up in my left thumb, and blood pooling up where there once was a perfectly fine hand.

after that, i really don't recall much that happened -- it all went down so fast. i rushed into the kitchen (only spilling one drop of blood on the floor, thank you), dropped the knife in the sink, and told people that i just cut myself and would need to go to the emergency room. my brother-in-law, john, rushed into action and got me to sit down as i started to get a little light-headed. i told everyone i was about to pass out, and after that, they apparently laid me on the floor, erinn started screaming bloody murder, everyone gathered to see what's happening, and what felt like hours asleep got crammed into the space of less than a minute. the next thing i felt is something i'd rather not go through again.

have you ever been laying on the ground, with a searing pain in your hand, people looking down on you, being told you've just passed out, all while feeling like you're waking up into another bad dream, thinking, "what is happening?" that has got to be one of the scariest moments of my life. anyhow, we got to the emergency room asap, and they stitched me up, got me on a painkiller, and sent me home with instructions to get to an orthopedic specialist soon because i'd probably need surgery on a tendon (the e.r. people said that i had partially severed one of them...) also, i was informed that i shouldn't be going to russia any time soon.

well, i made it through christmas, but my spirit was slightly dampened and i was quite tired.after seeing an orthopedic surgeon earlier this week, i am apparently quite lucky. rather than cutting through the section of my thumb that the tendons or nerves go through, i got the fat meaty part in between. i was given a removable splint to protect it, and i am now typing with freed up hands. i'll try to go back to work soon, but i'll be taking it easier. i'm still wondering what the grand scheme is as far as erinn and me not going to russia this christmas. even so, i'm glad that i'm in one piece and in a safe place to recover. my wife loves me, and it's been really good to have the together time with her. russia, plan on me being there this summer.

happy new year one and all, keep those traveling in your prayers, as well as the recovery of my thumb. 2008 was a crazy year, but a good one. i've got an even better feeling about 2009. cheers, everyone, and may your year be a blessed one.

The last year...

2008-11-09T10:23:00.009-06:00

wow. it has been well over a year since i last posted anything on here. (i knew this would happen.) however, my wife has been blogging lately, so it has inspired me to do the same.

what a year it has been! as of my last post, i was engaged for almost three months, and now i've been married for almost six months! our wedding was june 8th, and it was incredible.after the wedding, we traveled out to new mexico for a few days! let me just say, i'd love to go back anytime. seriously. can i live there?

we've now been living in edmond, oklahoma for the past five months or so, working at starbucks and trying to survive classes. there are some times that i just wish i was done with school... but wait! i did figure out that i only have ten classes once this semester ends!

i love biking now. i mean, i always did, but even more now. i just bought myself a 1986 miyata 110, a japanese road bike that's older than i am. it needs a bit of loving, but it's perfect for me. more on this to come...

i've also discovered somewhat of an affinity for fine breads. not that i'm a snob or anything, but i sure do enjoy a good, hand-crafted loaf. i was working on my own sweet potato bread recipe for a while; maybe i should pull it out again.

just a little bit of art

2007-10-08T00:01:00.000-05:00

so, here's a little bit of art that i've done recently. actually, in painting, last spring. i figured i'd throw these out there, so if anyone (of my nonexistent readers) wants to shoot me some feedback, i'd be more than happy to listen. seeing that i've just changed my major to fine arts, i'd better get good at what i do, so please tell me what you think. thanks :-)

at home on a rainy day

dead was i, yet alive

one last door...

thanks...a lot

untitled #1

untitled #2

there ya go, hope you like it.

i do not exist

2007-10-04T23:31:00.000-05:00

i oftentimes get this feeling that i am not meant to be here. no, i don't mean here in oklahoma (though i sometimes wonder what i really am doing here). i mean this earth. this existence. this physical understanding and temporal substance of which we're made just doesn't seem to cut it. to be honest, i'd have to say that i'm not content. i'm not at home, and frankly, i'm uncomfortable with most of the goings on that surround me.

yes, there are certainly good things and true things that are a reflection of the one who is greater than i, and for those things i am exceptionally grateful. however, the more life i live (yes, all 20 years of it) and the more things i experience, the more dissatisfied i grow with the status quo. i don't know, maybe that's why i feel such a draw to nature and escaping the manufactured surroundings we've all grown so accustomed to. i certainly can see why God has put such a wonderful young lady in my life. the love we share is definitely something that is not of this world, and the greater our love grows, the more i want to leave this earth. thank you God, for such a wonderful caring family, both biological and spiritual. i don't know where i'd be if it wasn't for people i'd be going home with.

jesus says that the truth sets us free. freedom. what a beautiful concept -- ideal, but never fully attainable while bound in this physical shell. we will always experience limitations of some sort until we're swept away into our heavenly home. as the apostle paul put it, "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." the more i think about those things, the more i'm lead away from this existence to something more. i'm drawn into something much greater than myself; something so massively incredible that it's completely incomprehendable. until we lose ourselves in this greatness, we will never be free.

i guess it's safe for me to say that i do not exist. apart from God, my presence here is meaningless. the only thing of value that truly exists in and of itself is God. every good and perfect thing flows from him, so when i do see the good that can happen in this world; when i do see things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy, it gives me hope that there is something better awaiting me once this life is over with.

i guess c.s. lewis had it right when he stated, "if i find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that i was made for another world."

pardon the somewhat stream-of-consciousness -- i'm just thinking and trying to convey it in a readable, reasonable manner. after all, it is late, and i must be going to sleep now. with that, i bid you (whoever you may be) goodnight, and may the peace from our heavenly father guard your spirit.

jacques ellul

2007-09-24T10:21:00.000-05:00

here's an insightful quote i found, and i believe it's worth sharing.

"Obviously when man has somewhere to turn, he does not turn to God and God does not come to him. As long as man can invent hopes and methods, he naturally suffers from the pretension that he can solve his own problems. He invents technical instruments, the state, society, money, and science. He also invents idols, magic, philosophy, spiritualism, and all these things can give him hope in himself that he can direct his own life and control his destiny. They all cause him to turn his back on God. As long as there is a glimmer of confidence in these means, man prefers to stake his life on them rather than handing it over to God. When the sailors tried to save the ship by their nautical skill, Jonah slept. All these aids had to be shattered, all solutions blocked, and man's possibilities hopelessly outclassed by the power of the challenge, to cause Jonah to return to God. Only when man has lost the vast apparatus of civilization, in personal response, does man remember God.

When man relies on these instruments, those who pay regard to vain idols, when he stakes his life on state or money, he does not know personal mercy. For these idols which help him to live are without mercy. They can indeed give a great deal to man. They can solve his problems – they can grant him happiness, power, even virtue and good. But they cannot give him the very thing he needs: mercy.

For these idols have no heart. No relation of love can be set up within them, only relations of possession. If one loves, the other possesses. The man who loves money or the state is not loved by them – he is owned. That is why so many fundamental problems of man cannot be solved by these powers, for man has a definitive need of one thing, to be loved, which also means to be pardoned and lifted above himself. None of these idols (least of all Eros love) can do this for him. But man does not know this, or hear it, until he has learned the emptiness of idols, until he has been disillusioned, until in truth he finds himself naked and without mercy, until he begs in an empty world for the mercy which cannot come to him from the world. To this stripped man God responds as he does to Jonah, and Jonah learns where mercy is to be had, and Who can give it to him, and he gets it because for once in his life he turns to the One who is, in fact, merciful."

i wish the world was paved in grass

2007-09-22T18:18:00.000-05:00

it's just one of those simple pleasures of life, you know? just last night, i took off my shoes and ran around in the dewy grass, and i'd have to say that it was absolutely glorious. especially in contrast with the barefooted walk around the block i took on sunday afternoon (through gravel, hot asphalt, and a construction zone). seriously, i believe that grass is what the world was meant to be covered with. besides water. which isn't half bad either.

sometimes, i wish that i lived in a time when the world was less modern and more the way it was created to be. i wish people could just be people without feeling the pressures of this hectic lifestyle, trying to make ends meet. life was meant to be enjoyed, not something that we should worry about -- besides, everything we could ever need is right there in the hands of our provider and daddy. matthew 6:25-34 sums it up perfectly:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

we know full well that by worrying about our own needs, we can't accomplish anything. also, i think that if everybody looked deep into their heart, i think we'd see a lot of people come to an understanding that they need a whole lot less than what they have. myself included, by the way. americans, in particular, i think have to look deeper than most people, but i believe that most people do realize that they need less than what they think they do.

i don't know. maybe i'm just dreaming that such a place could exist on this earth where people find their only sustainance from God and enjoy the simple pleasures that he has already provided for us. grass. i know the bible says that the streets in heaven will be paved in gold, but maybe the rest of our eternal home will be paved in grass.

i think i'd like that.